|
|
Out with bullet-proof vests, in with new mariachi suits
by Regis Michelena
Some ideas from the history of humanity are truly revolutionary, serving as shining beacons of the capabilities of mankind.
The idea of cooking meat. The development of democracy. The invention of the accordion. The creation of public access cable.
But one idea will never be added to this most
prestigious of irrelevant lists: the dressing of members of
Before anyone begins to incite widespread panic over this disturbing turn of events, I will assure you that the suit does indeed include spurs and the traditional wide-brimmed sombrero of yore (not to be confused with the traditional wide-brimmed sombrero of the 1980’s).
Yes, come November 1, 70 police officers working in Mexico City’s historic district will trade in their drab brown uniforms and bullet-proof vests for authentic “charro” outfits. Fortunately, the suits in question are very different from the wardrobe of Spanish singer/dancer/composer/comedienne Charo (think “Cuchi-cuchi!”).
Apparently, officials in the hotel and tourism industry think the new police wardrobe will draw visitors to the city while still fighting crime. Should the program succeed, more officers will join the ranks of the sombreroed in the near future.
Call me crazy, but I suspect this decision came following an amount of drinking typically found in an Ernest Hemingway novel.
And you
thought our government did some dumb things? Sure — we had slavery, elected Harding, and made
To be fair, the mariachi suit is a respectable emblem of Mexican culture and history.
But I were one of the officers in this situation, I would certainly be asking one question. And it wouldn’t be, “If I had a 1982 DeLorean, where would I drive to first?”
It would actually be, “Why on Earth did I give up my bullet-proof vest for THIS?”
While I have been fortunate enough to never have been in any sort of firefight, I’m willing to bet money that a big sombrero in the middle of a large urban area would tend to attract unwanted attention. Painfully unwanted attention.
While mariachi sombreros may be big
targets for Latin hoodlums, I have the feeling that members of the criminal
element of
Honestly, if you were a macho street-tough hood in the city, would you want to be cuffed by the long-lost member of the Three Amigos in front of your compadres? I’m sure that would be a big blow to the thug’s street “cred.”
Here’s another thought: do the cops wearing the mariachi suits consider it a promotion or a demotion? It’s probably like a homicide detective getting stuck with traffic cop duty.
I could be wrong. But I’m not.
As strange as this whole scenario sounds, I tip the hat I’d have on my head if I were wearing one to the brave men of Mexico City’s police force, mariachi’ed up or not. If this idea doesn’t work (note that I’m not holding my breath) I’m sure that they can always get a job as extras in a Thalia video.
They might even broadcast it on public access cable.